Only 4 weeks of training left

It is getting a little scary.  Only 4 more weeks of training and then recovery for one week before the race.  I'm nervous that I will not be ready.  I am trying to find a track that is lit so I can do some running at night after work, but am not having much luck.  I don't want to take the chance of running in the dark and hurting myself, but that may be the only option.  Also for the type of work I want to do, it would be great to have a measured distance.

Starting this week-end, I will start doing 13 mile workouts, I may end up walking as much as I run, but at least I will start doing the distance and getting used to it.  I will improve each week for the following three weekends.

It is times like this where I wish I did have a running partner, someone that would push me a little more.

THAT's ENOUGH, I QUIT!!!

Im not writing this for feedback or to garner encouragement, but to share the thoughts I had tonight at Cross fit.  Just to let people know, I am not a jock or someone that likes exercise; I am just someone with a goal strong enough to continue.

In grade school, I was uncoordinated, non-athletic - on of the last picked when sides were chosen for baseball, etc.  In Jr. high I was growing into my high school 90 lb weakling status.  Along with the physical short comings came the mental short comings that led to not trying things or giving up if it was hard or embarrassing because I was clumsy or uncoordinated. As an adult that translated into not dancing, not working out in health clubs because I couldn't lift as much as guys that have been doing it for years, all stupidity.

So tonight, like other nights, but even more so since there were only 4 other "young" guys and one woman there, I was more visible.  More attention from the instructor.  Work out was.

15 X 3 of the following (recommended weight for men 95lbs.)

  *overhead presses - done with good form.

* L pull-ups (you raise your legs out in front of you as the horizontal stroke of an L)* I can't even do one unassisted chin-up.

* split jerks

*Knees and elbows (hang from bar and jerk your knees to your elbow) *like I can even do one of these.

*Squat jerk

All my urges to quit were here tonight.  I was clumsy with my form, unbalanced, weak, not strong enough.  I was lifting three different weights a 22lb bar, a 33 lb, and a 42 lb bar.  lightest bars in the place. 

What am I doing here, why am I here, why am I embarrassing myself like this, also telling myself some choice things about my conditioning and what "the others" were thinking about me.  I had to take some deep breaths and just continue.  I went through the motions with light weights - they will strengthen me.  I did rubber band chin ups until I could do no more and then I tried to pull myself up for 5 seconds and then relaxed and counted that as 1, because it was more than I have done before and it couldn't hurt - then I did it again.  I couldn't raise myself any more, but I went through the motions straining my muscles so they would at least have muscle memory and have a head start the next time.  I faked the knees and elbows exercise also, holding onto the bar and jumping and bending my knees up to my elbows and repeating the required number of times.  It worked muscles and will help me do this in the future.

I know I will do these workouts for the next three weeks because they are part of my 1/2 marathon training.  I thought I would set another goal to do 1 unassisted chin-up by mid January, but I don't think that is a hard enough goal.  I think the first goal I need to set after the Las Vegas run is to continue going to the club.  The goal is to overcome another legacy of my past, and a secondary goal of 1 unassisted chin-up as soon as possible.

So, as I said earlier, this posting isn't for feedback or to garner encouragement, it is to share that I am like you, weak in areas of my life, full of doubts in areas of my life, but I have the ability to adress and change these areas where I want to change them.  If I overcome these fears in exercise, where else in my life will I grow because of the confidence and success I achieve?  If I voice these fears and attitudes, the unveiling removes the power they hold over me.

A different type of post.

"Someday is Today."  Some statement, but am I living it?  When it comes to experiencing new things and setting some goals... maybe; but I want to experience more.  Today, while watching a movie I realized that the experiences I am actively pursuing are individual experiences, they do not require emotional involvement with others.

"My Sister's Keeper" is a movie about a girl that was conceived to supply body parts for an older sister that had leukemia; she sued her parents to retain the medical rights to her body.  The movie was emotional and I think the actors gave a stellar performance when acting out the emotions one faces when dealing with the illness and the pain they face when a loved one is dying.  The survivors experience a need to do everything they can, to prolong the life of the one that is dying; it is an overwhelming task, even when it goes against the will of the dying person. 

While watching the movie, I choked up, cried tears and vividly remembered and experienced the very real physical/emotional pain I felt when JoAnn died.  I remembered that my chest and throat constricted to the point of pain and that I could not breathe.  I remember the part of my soul that was ripped away.  I thought, as I have before, why would anyone want to put themselves in that position again... why would I want to be in another relationship where I would take the chance of going through that loss again?  (I just experienced a great emotional heaviness and sigh and got teary eyed as I wrote this.)  On the other side of that coin, why would I want to expose a partner to that pain and loss if I were the one to get sick and die?

Is it any wonder that I attract and am attracted to women that are unavailable - married or too young?  This allows me to interact with women that meet some of my emotional needs and yet prevents the physical bonding and further cementing of a deeply spiritual and emotional relationship that will prevent me from again experiencing that greatest of all losses.

So why does this post belong here on this blog?  I believe that it is time to remove this thinking from my life so I can find a partner that will further enhance my life.  I am happy with my life and do not need a partner to make it better, but it would be nice to have someone to share it with, to be intimate with, to grow with and to share goals with.

Therefore, Some Day, I will attract available women into my life.

Training - Sunday 10/23/2011

This morning I ran for 2 hrs on the trails and logging roads behind Pt. Gamble.  I think I ran 9 miles.  My GPS is not working correctly.  What is usually logged as 9/10 or 1 mile was .7 miles,  After running up a trail, what should have put me over 2 miles was shown as 1.7 miles.  It was an interesting run as I did much better than I did last Sunday.  It seems the hill repeats and the Cross Fit training are working for me.  This week I will do hill repeats twice and Cross Fit twice.  I will need to rest on Friday and Saturday to let my legs rest and heal so they are fresh for the run.  It is called the Spooky 12K - put on by Poulsbo Running.
The first mile of my run seems to be the hardest and after I get past that mark, I can keep going.  It isn't easy, but it is easier than the first mile. 

Been a while since I updated the blog.  I have been posting my training on FB in a group I created called "Getting Fit"  This blog is a way to document more completely my training and thoughts of the Las Vegas Marathon (LVM) 

It is the 22nd of October.  I have joined Kitsap Cross Fit Gym.  It is not a gym like 24 hr Fitness or Bally's.  It is a gym for people that are serious about their training.  http://www.kitsapcrossfit.com/  I like it that I go, but I feel really out of shape - probably because I am.  I look at the workouts, which change daily and think "I can't do that - yet"  but I can do my best and not slack off. 

I went last Thursday and we were suppose to start doing 50 double ups (and then each rep reduce by 10), that is jump rope with the rope going around twice for each jump and if you cant do that, raise your knees high for each jump.  I raised my knees as high as I could for 50 jumps, then I did 30 sit ups, then 40 jumps and 30 sit ups, then 30 jumps and 25 sit ups (they were pretty sloppy at this time) then 20 jumps and 20 sit ups and then 10 jumps and 10 sit ups.  Oh yeah there was also weight lifting before that.

This training, for me, is not only a physical challenge, but mental and psychological challenge as well.  I have a goal so I need to do the best I can to reach it,  The psychological part of it has to do with not quitting because I am not good enough, and accepting the positive reinforcement that I get about how I am doing a great job, when I know that my form is falling apart and that I am not completing the task as listed on the Workout of the Day.

At the beginning of 2011, when I was hovering around 250 lbs, I fantasized about weighing 236 lbs. I would be slim and trim, I thought. At the end of April, when I started running, I was around 240 lbs. At the end of May at my Annual Physical, I weighed 228 lbs. This morning, 216.2 lbs. All this loss from exercise and better food choices. I am not dieting, I have not given up any foods, I usually just eat smaller portions, I have cut back on candy, but it was a natural occurrence; I don't feel deprived.

I have purchased a few pieces of exercise equipment that is good for me as long as I use them.  Many people may think they can't afford to get equipment, but one piece I bought for $7.. from Goodwill.  Another piece, a rowing machine, I paid $40 on Craig's list.  If you want equipment, you can find it cheap.  If you buy equipment, use it or it will be a demotivate.

Find a support group of some type to help you get motivated.  It may be an online group, friends, neighbors, etc.  Part of my support group are the owners of Mike's 5 Star BBQ in Port Gamble, they let me know how good I look when I come in.  "I didn't recognise you!"  "You look 10 years younger."  Things like that.  A number of people have noticed my weight loss, and I have shared some of my goals at work and with friends and people respond saying that I have motivated them to start running, walking, exercising.  "I figure, if you can do it, so can I!" one person said.  I can't quit now... I can't let them down, even more important, I can't let myself down.

On the road to my 1/2 marathon

Today I ran 3 miles.  I did good the stamina was there, but my heart beat was up.  That will come back down as I recover from my injury and run more.  I am also ready to start biking, which will be good cross training... and good for improving my stamina, breathing and heart rate.

I only have a month to get up to running about 4.5 miles for the 8K race.  Then another month to get up to 8 miles for the 12K race.  It will take lots of dedication and will power to stay active to work on the elliptical and rowing machine on those days I do not run.

I am feeling good and I know I can meet all these goals that I have set for myself.   Now that my body is improving, it is as much mental conditioning as it is physical conditioning. 

One of the biggest perks is to have people notice and ask about my weight loss.  :-)

First race in training for 1/2 marathon

I think I have found my first hard surface 5K race to run in.  It is local.
http://seeboosters.org/seekidsrun/09242011.html  Proceeds go to a charity.  It is on 9/24 giving me a good 5 1/2 weeks to train up to 5K or 3.1 miles on hard surface.  The next step is to find a 10 K in late October or early November.

Goal set for 1/2 marathon

I thought I would be able to run/walk a 1/2 marathon in September of this year, until I tried running on a flat hard surface.  Until now, I have been running on dirt logging roads; uneven surface and hills and dips.  Run/walking, I average over 5 mph.  I also can do about 8-9 miles in an hour and 40 min,  I thought this meant that when I switched to a flat surface, my speed and distance would improve.  WRONG!

My first experience on the flat hard surface was a disappointment and an eye opener.  I was hurting before I went a 1/2 mile; the course was 1.5 miles, but I actually ran less than a mile and my right leg was fatigued.  On my second attempt, I removed my ankle brace, did a warm up walk of 1/4 mile and then did some stretching.  I got in a little over a mile, my right leg felt fatigued again.  I could have forced myself to run further, but decided if I did much more, I would end up injuring myself, so I called it a day and returned to my car.

I will be able to accomplish this as long as I take it slow and don't injure myself.

So what is my goal for my first 1/2 marathon?  The Las Vegas R&R marathon on December 4, 2011.  The entry fee is like $165.00 (a motivation in itself, once it is paid,) plus plane fare and hotel.  These darn dreams are expensive.  I have invited others to join me, but it may be cost prohibitive for them.  That's o.k. though, because I will go on my own if that is how it works out.

You can follow my progress to the marathon by reading this blog.  You can encourage me when I am not happy with my training and progression.  You can laugh with me and at me.

So here are some vitals:
This morning I weighed 217 lbs.  My goal is to run the race at 200 lbs.  Achieving this weight has its challenges, because as I run and work out, I will burn fat, but I will also be building muscle which weighs more than fat - but, it looks better also.

Furthest run on flat hard surface: about a mile.

No work out today, I have Jeannie visiting and we will be going out for dinner.  If I get back early enough, perhaps I will get a Short workout in.

Am I certifiable?

After completing The Dirty Dash mud run I last posted about in May of 2011 and immensely enjoying the run and the fact that I was not the slowest person on our team; and that our team was passing many younger teams; and, rightfully, being proud that I trained for the run and actually completed the 10K, I have decided to train for a 1/2 marathon in September and possibly a full marathon in December.  These are pretty ambitious goals and there are a number of people pointing that out, in a negative way.  I can use that as an incentive to persevere.  I think one of the reasons I decided to run the 1/2 and full, was how easy I found the 10K.

What I was not aware of when I started training for TDD and talking about it, was that I would inspire others to take up running.  (It is amazing how our actions will influence others, so it is important that we be aware of how we are acting at all times.)

So now my training begins in earnest.  I have borrowed a bicycle for cross training, I had to purchase new rear brake pads for it but, now it is ready to go.  All I need to do is get on it and learn how to ride it.  Yesterday I purchased an elliptical trainer, it was $200.00 off at Sears.  I went to look at a rowing machine but Sears did not have one in stock, so I purchased the ET. 

I also purchased a book called "Running WIthin" by Jerry Lynch and Warren Scott that is a guide to mastering the body-mind-spirit connection for ultimate training and running.  I already know that running is a mental game so I will turn to more experience to help with this aspect of my training.

So here I go, starting another adventure, I ask for your support by reading and commenting on my posts, because that is a way to support and encourage me on this journey.

A report to a friend on my Dirty Dash experience

Hi Arabelle,

I have been following your trip updates and all the big things happening in India that make our news, that I have minimized my little race, even though you said in the past that you wanted to hear about it.  Now that you asked again, I will tell you.

You probably saw my updates of my training over the last few months, so were pretty much up to date until the day of the race.  It was one of the few sunny and very warm days we had so far this year, and I had been wishing that it would be cloudy and cool.  There were suppose to be 7 members on our team, and I only knew one of them; only 3 others showed up for the run.

Dave and Team Cpt. Doreen.  otice how clean I am.

My friend Bridget was coming to the race with her husband and three kids and hadn't arrived when I got there.  Thank goodness for cell phones, I was able to call the team captain and meet her.  The race started and the first thing we did was run up a 20 foot mound of loose dirt and then run down the other side, a few hundred meters further on we came to the first of about 6 walls we had to climb over.  My friend slipped as she was climbing over the wall and she hit the upright of the wall with her neck and got  a bruise or her neck, we call it a hickie or monkey bite here in the states, something young people give each other when they are "making out" or necking. (do you know these terms?)

I get down and dirty

The next obstacles were piles of old tires we had to climb over.  Then came pipes that were placed across a ditch and the first set we climbed over like hurdles, at the second set we were told to go under the first 4 and then roll through a deep puddle of muddy water, the three girls said no way and just climbed over the pipes and walked through the water.  I said, I'm her to experience the race so I did the obstacle as instructed and got soaked and muddy.

Then we ran for a few kilometers before we had to walk some balance beams, which I did so well I got a compliment from the person that was managing that obstacle.  We then had to climb some more "A" frame walls, these were like two ladders - climb up one and then down the other.

I will interrupt the story of the race course and remind you that my one goal was not to be the reason our team came in last.  I wasn't.  I was the oldest member of the team by 7 years and the least experienced runner as I had never run a race before.  I was not the slowest, but I did decide to keep the slowest runner company because I felt sorry for her because her friends left her behind for most of the race.

Our next obstacle was crawling through pipes and then more of those "A" frame walls.  We caught up to our team at the last obstacle because there was a line.  It was the big water slide you see behind me in the picture.  Once again the women decided not to get dirty and ran down the slide. me - well I ran and dove head first on the slide and was laughing so much that when I got to the bottom of the slide, I went into a big puddle of water and ended up getting some in my nose and mouth.  yech!  I lost my bib number when I hit the water, but didn't realize it until the end of the race. 

Almost to the finish line and there was a mud pit - mud and water about 2/3 of a meter deep.  I ran through that and as I was catching up with my teammates, I stepped on a rock and twisted my foot.  I went tumbling to the ground and the only thought that went through my head was, "Dang, I bounce good!"  Bridget told one of the people that we walk with on the ferry that I "fall and bounce very gracefully."

I wore an ankle brace for about 10 days but am o.k. now.

The race was FUN!  I really enjoyed it.  I was surprised when we were finished because it didn't seem like we had run 6 miles.  10K.  Our time was exactly 1 hr.

I am now training to run a 1/2 marathon in September and if I'm satisfied with my results, I will train to enter a full marathon in December in Las Vegas.  After that I think I will keep my running to dirt trails as it will be easier on my knees.

How are you doing?  I keep seeing little sentences saying that you are having work related Skype meetings.  I am assuming that means you have a job waiting for you?  Is it in France?  What is it and when will you be returning home?

You are still an inspiration to me and I love following your travels - you are one of those inspirational stories that people read and wish they had enough trust in life and the universe to do what you do.  you are a special spirit.

Take care, happy travels and wonderful experiences

A hot soak, a glass of wine, and Ibuprofen!

I am proud of myself tonight.  I think I may have done something I've never done in my life.  I ran 5 miles with 1 - 30 second stop to drink.  I took over 58 minutes to jog that distance, which make them almost 12-minute miles; BUT ... I RAN five miles.  A 10K is only (get this...only) 6.2 miles and I have until July 9th to reach that goal.  Last December I would not have believed this was possible.  It has only taken 8 weeks, and one of those weeks I did not run.

Why is this important to me and possibly others?  It shows that if we set a goal to do something, and get the right training or education for it, and we do not give up on that goal or ourselves, we have a good chance of achieving it.  It is funny, as soon as I wrote this paragraph; I remembered that I was talking to someone about this very subject this morning on my ferry ride to Seattle.

We were talking and I mentioned that I decided to learn to play the guitar and was taking the steps needed to do so.  I said that I had tried when I was younger but wasn't successful.  She asked why and I thought for a minute, said that when I picked up the guitar, I was not successful with it right away, and did not want to take the time needed to learn how to play, so I gave up on the idea.  It is (not) so strange that when I have conversations like that, my mind will churn away in the background and let me know many of the times I have given up on something I thought I wanted, because it was too hard.

That brings me back to my concept of Someday is Today, it is a way for me to think of things I have always wanted to do but was afraid to do, or too lazy to do, or too far outside my comfort zone to try, I can write it down and let my mind and the universe work on it and make it a possibility.  Part of my Someday is Today philosophy is to think of at least one crazy thing to do each year - and to find a way to do it.  Taking up running is this year's crazy thing.

Now off to draw my bath.

Last Tuesday I was running,

I have a running Ap on my Android phone and it times a 5 min warm-up walk and beeps at 2.5 minutes and again when I reached the end of the 5 minute period. The timer is suppose to time the specific run for that day, according to the program I was training with, and let me know when I reached the 1/2 way point so I could turn around and head back.  It worked well for the warm-up walk and then I started running.

I also wear a watch that has a stopwatch and heart monitor so I usually have a backup for the time I am running.  Well on Tuesday 5/17/2011 I ran and I passed the 1 mile point on my run.  At the 1.2 mile point I turned and started running up hill.  I ran and ran and thought boy this is taking a long time.  I came upon a woman with two large dogs and when she saw me she grabbed one and was putting a leash on him.  The other dog moved out into the trail, so I just ran in place until the woman could restrain him also (it was a welcome relief to not be moving uphill)  I then looked at my watch and noticed that I hadn't started the stop watch.  "grrrr" was all I could get out of my mouth - no air for anything else.  I then checked my phone and I still had about two minutes to run in the out bound direction, so I put my mind somewhere pleasant and looked at the trail about 9' in front of me and plodded on.  and on... and on ... and on.

Finally I came to a tree that had fallen across the trail and I clambered over it continued plodding up the hill - I took the phone out of my pocket thinking "these two minutes sure are lasting forever!"  I saw that I had been running for about 18 1/2 minutes.  I couldn't believe it - I hadn't heard the phone beep to have me turn around at 12.5 minutes.  I have to admit that I was pretty proud of myself - I had never ran so far up the hill before.  I decided that I would turn around and run down hill and I would run as long as I could before stopping.  At 36 minutes I decided perhaps I should stop before I hurt myself, as I had run 11 minutes longer than the training schedule called for and I didn't want to over do it and get to sore to run on Thursday.  I knew that I had run at least 3.1 miles - the length of a 5K.  I actually ran at least 3.5 miles that day - I measured it on Saturday, but forget the exact distance.

I always wished I could play a musical instrument

I always wished I could play a musical instrument ... Something other than a radio, CD player or MP3 player. Throughout my life, I have held some pretty limiting believes that have prevented my from trying and following through on many things in my life.  I was once told by a nun at the Catholic grade school that I couldn't sing, so I took that to mean I had no musical ability; I have probably held that belief for close to 50 years.

I remember once, as a teen, I bought a guitar and since I couldn't figure it out right away, I put it down or gave it away and knew I couldn't play.  I have decided that I would learn to play a guitar and so today I bought a beginners package and will put in time to learn how to play it.

I have ignored this blog for awhile....

and it is time I got back to it.  New dreams and goals are always available to me, and it is only right that I post them somewhere. 

The latest goal, or "crazy" thing for me in 2011 is training to run a 10K race. The Dirty Dash, you can watch a video at http://www.thedirtydash.com/ .

My training started not because of the 10K, but because a friend was considering starting a 5K race in Port Ludlow; in order to encourage her, I told her if she was successful, I would enter the race.  This was a stretch for me, as I had tried running in December of 2010, and I couldn't run 2 tenths of a mile, and I gave up.

Before I started training, my friend told me that she had entered a 10K race that it was going to be in the mud, she laughed and talked about how much fun it would be.  I smiled and said "Have fun."  A few weeks later after I had started training, she showed me a video of the race and I thought it would be a crazy fun thing to do.  I am now on her team, 5 women and two men.  I am the oldest by 6 years and probably the least experienced runner.  I am training and training hard - I have two goals.  1. To have fun and finish the race and 2. To not be the reason our team finishes last.

I am on my way to achieving those goals.