A different type of post.

"Someday is Today."  Some statement, but am I living it?  When it comes to experiencing new things and setting some goals... maybe; but I want to experience more.  Today, while watching a movie I realized that the experiences I am actively pursuing are individual experiences, they do not require emotional involvement with others.

"My Sister's Keeper" is a movie about a girl that was conceived to supply body parts for an older sister that had leukemia; she sued her parents to retain the medical rights to her body.  The movie was emotional and I think the actors gave a stellar performance when acting out the emotions one faces when dealing with the illness and the pain they face when a loved one is dying.  The survivors experience a need to do everything they can, to prolong the life of the one that is dying; it is an overwhelming task, even when it goes against the will of the dying person. 

While watching the movie, I choked up, cried tears and vividly remembered and experienced the very real physical/emotional pain I felt when JoAnn died.  I remembered that my chest and throat constricted to the point of pain and that I could not breathe.  I remember the part of my soul that was ripped away.  I thought, as I have before, why would anyone want to put themselves in that position again... why would I want to be in another relationship where I would take the chance of going through that loss again?  (I just experienced a great emotional heaviness and sigh and got teary eyed as I wrote this.)  On the other side of that coin, why would I want to expose a partner to that pain and loss if I were the one to get sick and die?

Is it any wonder that I attract and am attracted to women that are unavailable - married or too young?  This allows me to interact with women that meet some of my emotional needs and yet prevents the physical bonding and further cementing of a deeply spiritual and emotional relationship that will prevent me from again experiencing that greatest of all losses.

So why does this post belong here on this blog?  I believe that it is time to remove this thinking from my life so I can find a partner that will further enhance my life.  I am happy with my life and do not need a partner to make it better, but it would be nice to have someone to share it with, to be intimate with, to grow with and to share goals with.

Therefore, Some Day, I will attract available women into my life.

Training - Sunday 10/23/2011

This morning I ran for 2 hrs on the trails and logging roads behind Pt. Gamble.  I think I ran 9 miles.  My GPS is not working correctly.  What is usually logged as 9/10 or 1 mile was .7 miles,  After running up a trail, what should have put me over 2 miles was shown as 1.7 miles.  It was an interesting run as I did much better than I did last Sunday.  It seems the hill repeats and the Cross Fit training are working for me.  This week I will do hill repeats twice and Cross Fit twice.  I will need to rest on Friday and Saturday to let my legs rest and heal so they are fresh for the run.  It is called the Spooky 12K - put on by Poulsbo Running.
The first mile of my run seems to be the hardest and after I get past that mark, I can keep going.  It isn't easy, but it is easier than the first mile. 

Been a while since I updated the blog.  I have been posting my training on FB in a group I created called "Getting Fit"  This blog is a way to document more completely my training and thoughts of the Las Vegas Marathon (LVM) 

It is the 22nd of October.  I have joined Kitsap Cross Fit Gym.  It is not a gym like 24 hr Fitness or Bally's.  It is a gym for people that are serious about their training.  http://www.kitsapcrossfit.com/  I like it that I go, but I feel really out of shape - probably because I am.  I look at the workouts, which change daily and think "I can't do that - yet"  but I can do my best and not slack off. 

I went last Thursday and we were suppose to start doing 50 double ups (and then each rep reduce by 10), that is jump rope with the rope going around twice for each jump and if you cant do that, raise your knees high for each jump.  I raised my knees as high as I could for 50 jumps, then I did 30 sit ups, then 40 jumps and 30 sit ups, then 30 jumps and 25 sit ups (they were pretty sloppy at this time) then 20 jumps and 20 sit ups and then 10 jumps and 10 sit ups.  Oh yeah there was also weight lifting before that.

This training, for me, is not only a physical challenge, but mental and psychological challenge as well.  I have a goal so I need to do the best I can to reach it,  The psychological part of it has to do with not quitting because I am not good enough, and accepting the positive reinforcement that I get about how I am doing a great job, when I know that my form is falling apart and that I am not completing the task as listed on the Workout of the Day.

At the beginning of 2011, when I was hovering around 250 lbs, I fantasized about weighing 236 lbs. I would be slim and trim, I thought. At the end of April, when I started running, I was around 240 lbs. At the end of May at my Annual Physical, I weighed 228 lbs. This morning, 216.2 lbs. All this loss from exercise and better food choices. I am not dieting, I have not given up any foods, I usually just eat smaller portions, I have cut back on candy, but it was a natural occurrence; I don't feel deprived.

I have purchased a few pieces of exercise equipment that is good for me as long as I use them.  Many people may think they can't afford to get equipment, but one piece I bought for $7.. from Goodwill.  Another piece, a rowing machine, I paid $40 on Craig's list.  If you want equipment, you can find it cheap.  If you buy equipment, use it or it will be a demotivate.

Find a support group of some type to help you get motivated.  It may be an online group, friends, neighbors, etc.  Part of my support group are the owners of Mike's 5 Star BBQ in Port Gamble, they let me know how good I look when I come in.  "I didn't recognise you!"  "You look 10 years younger."  Things like that.  A number of people have noticed my weight loss, and I have shared some of my goals at work and with friends and people respond saying that I have motivated them to start running, walking, exercising.  "I figure, if you can do it, so can I!" one person said.  I can't quit now... I can't let them down, even more important, I can't let myself down.

On the road to my 1/2 marathon

Today I ran 3 miles.  I did good the stamina was there, but my heart beat was up.  That will come back down as I recover from my injury and run more.  I am also ready to start biking, which will be good cross training... and good for improving my stamina, breathing and heart rate.

I only have a month to get up to running about 4.5 miles for the 8K race.  Then another month to get up to 8 miles for the 12K race.  It will take lots of dedication and will power to stay active to work on the elliptical and rowing machine on those days I do not run.

I am feeling good and I know I can meet all these goals that I have set for myself.   Now that my body is improving, it is as much mental conditioning as it is physical conditioning. 

One of the biggest perks is to have people notice and ask about my weight loss.  :-)

First race in training for 1/2 marathon

I think I have found my first hard surface 5K race to run in.  It is local.
http://seeboosters.org/seekidsrun/09242011.html  Proceeds go to a charity.  It is on 9/24 giving me a good 5 1/2 weeks to train up to 5K or 3.1 miles on hard surface.  The next step is to find a 10 K in late October or early November.

Goal set for 1/2 marathon

I thought I would be able to run/walk a 1/2 marathon in September of this year, until I tried running on a flat hard surface.  Until now, I have been running on dirt logging roads; uneven surface and hills and dips.  Run/walking, I average over 5 mph.  I also can do about 8-9 miles in an hour and 40 min,  I thought this meant that when I switched to a flat surface, my speed and distance would improve.  WRONG!

My first experience on the flat hard surface was a disappointment and an eye opener.  I was hurting before I went a 1/2 mile; the course was 1.5 miles, but I actually ran less than a mile and my right leg was fatigued.  On my second attempt, I removed my ankle brace, did a warm up walk of 1/4 mile and then did some stretching.  I got in a little over a mile, my right leg felt fatigued again.  I could have forced myself to run further, but decided if I did much more, I would end up injuring myself, so I called it a day and returned to my car.

I will be able to accomplish this as long as I take it slow and don't injure myself.

So what is my goal for my first 1/2 marathon?  The Las Vegas R&R marathon on December 4, 2011.  The entry fee is like $165.00 (a motivation in itself, once it is paid,) plus plane fare and hotel.  These darn dreams are expensive.  I have invited others to join me, but it may be cost prohibitive for them.  That's o.k. though, because I will go on my own if that is how it works out.

You can follow my progress to the marathon by reading this blog.  You can encourage me when I am not happy with my training and progression.  You can laugh with me and at me.

So here are some vitals:
This morning I weighed 217 lbs.  My goal is to run the race at 200 lbs.  Achieving this weight has its challenges, because as I run and work out, I will burn fat, but I will also be building muscle which weighs more than fat - but, it looks better also.

Furthest run on flat hard surface: about a mile.

No work out today, I have Jeannie visiting and we will be going out for dinner.  If I get back early enough, perhaps I will get a Short workout in.